


I don't have to live without you anymore

by BubblegumCoffee, Drakojana



Series: Sentinels and Guides [1]
Category: Video Blogging RPF, jacksepticeye - Fandom, markiplier - Fandom
Genre: Alternate Universe - Sentinels & Guides, Angst with a Happy Ending, Consent Issues, Emotional Baggage, Guide!Mark, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Sentinel!Anti, Superpowers, past Anti/Spoiler character, still angst though
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-10-28
Updated: 2018-10-28
Packaged: 2019-08-09 04:25:12
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,394
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16442930
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BubblegumCoffee/pseuds/BubblegumCoffee, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Drakojana/pseuds/Drakojana
Summary: Mark smiled lightly, hoping it would look encouraging to the other man. He took a sharp breath to introduce himself, but the other spoke up quicker."Go away."





	I don't have to live without you anymore

**Author's Note:**

  * For [AssbuttOfTheReaders](https://archiveofourown.org/users/AssbuttOfTheReaders/gifts).



> This is a birthday gift for my wonderful Em, who's a sweet, talented person, always full of ideas! Happy birthday, hun, enjoy this huge thing that took me only a year to write :'D
> 
> Fun fact: yes, this fic was supposed to be done a year ago. 
> 
> Big, big thanks for Hunter for not only helping me develop this AU and story itself but also for being my beta!

Mark was fidgeting as he sat on a chair in the corridor. He wasn't entirely sure why he'd been summoned to the Sentinels Containment Facility so soon after he'd finished his training, especially since he had hardly any experience as a qualified Guide.

The doors to the head of the facility's office were slightly open. He finally heard his name be called out.

"Fischbach, come in!"

The brunet took a deep breath and got up, his chair squeaking a bit when it was relieved of the weight. His eyes landed on the glass label next to the door once more.

_Felix Kjellberg_

_Sentinels Containment Administration_

Mark pushed the doors open to see the inside of the room. The office was rather small - you'd expect something bigger out of the boss. There was a rather small desk with a neat pile of papers on top of it, as well as two computer screens. Next to one of the walls stood a tall filing cabinet filled with hundreds of strenuously ordered documents. A painting hung on the opposite side of the room.

Right behind the desk, there was a huge glass wall that allowed anyone to see the landscapes of the outside world. And in front of it stood the man himself. Dressed in a greyish sweater over a white shirt, clad in dark trousers, Kjellberg had bleached snowlike hair on top of his head.

Mark closed the door behind himself and cleared his throat to announce his presence, as the figure looking out the window seemed not to pay any attention to his arrival.

"You called, sir?"

The Administrator turned around to give him a smile, though the expression didn't quite reach his eyes. They had a stormy look about them instead.

"Excellent grades on theoretical exams. Good attitude towards the Sentinels during training. Ample empathy for others," he spoke, lifting a piece of paper from his desk. "And, most importantly, ready to help at all times."

The raven-haired man couldn't stop his lips from forming a sheepish smile at those words. It was said Kjellberg complimented hardly anyone. And sure enough, once the Swede raised his eyes from the paper, his expression turned wholly sour.

"You've got quite a flattering report there, Fischbach. But I don't trust others' opinions until I see the results myself."

"I'm not exactly sure what my job will be, sir." Mark couldn't focus his gaze on the man in front of him, though he tried to stop his eyes from shifting around too much.

"As you know, we keep very specific Sentinels here." The Administrator sat down in a plush, black leather chair. "Their abilities are extremely valuable."

The raven-haired man nodded. Sure, most Sentinels had sharpened senses and were more perceptive than regular humans. But every once in a while a Sentinel would display even more unique abilities. Telekinesis, reading minds and body possession were just a few examples.

"But the stronger the ability, the worse the side effects."

"Sir, I hardly have any real experience--" Mark tried to object, but the other shut him up by holding his hand up.

"I'm talking about a specific case here, Fischbach. I've got enough qualified Guides in the facility, I'm not looking for just anybody."

The raven-haired man pursed his lips. He couldn't understand the reasoning behind Kjellberg’s actions. Wasn't an inexperienced Guide even less desired for contained Sentinels?

The Swede took a long and tired breath. He eyed Mark wearily.

"I need somebody who has patience. Who's understanding. Who won't give up at the first instance of a lack of cooperation. Do you understand?"

Mark nodded again. He began to realise why he'd been chosen. A part of him cursed the teachers from the Guide Training Centre. It was their opinions that got him in this position.

"So far this Sentinel has put off all Guides we've tried to assign to him, and he is very important to us. his skill is irreplaceable."

"Yes, sir."

The Administrator picked up another document from the pile and stretched his arm out towards Mark, waving his hand to indicate he wanted the other to take it.

"Here are the subject's details. I'd like you to introduce yourself to him tomorrow."

The raven-haired man grabbed the papers and glanced at the Sentinel's photo.

The subject in question had overgrown brown hair with bright green, almost yellowish endings. The hair, dishevelled, fell over his forehead in bleak curls. His eyes were blue, though they hardly reflected light, and were so dim that they almost looked grey. His bushy eyebrows were scrunched up in a semi-confused expression, and there were hints of neglected facial hair, despite looking freshly trimmed.

When Mark's eyes landed on the file name, he quirked an eyebrow and glanced back at the Administrator.

"Anti? What sort of name is that?"

"He seems to prefer the nickname over his real one."

"I see," the raven-haired man muttered. "I'll get ready for tomorrow then, sir."

"I trust you will not disappoint, Fischbach." The Administrator sighed and leaned back in the chair. "I'm giving you a week to prove yourself."

"Prove myself?"

"If you can't gain his trust, then perhaps we'll have to question your abilities as a Guide."

Mark made a strangled noise at the shocking statement.

"B-but sir, I've barely--"

"Spare me, Fischbach," the Administrator waved his hand. "One week. Or you're losing your qualification status."

There was nothing else that Mark could say to save his case. Kjellberg ignored his further attempts to defend himself and the raven-haired man was forced to leave.

When he was in the corridor once more, he sat down on one of the uncomfortable chairs and hid his face in his hands after leaving the documents on the seat next to him.

He hadn't even met a Sentinel outside of the Training Centre since he leaving it, and he certainly had never seen a Sentinel with supernatural powers. How he was supposed to handle this kind of job, he wasn't sure.

But if one thing was true about Mark, it was that his recommendations didn't lie. He wasn't going to give up without trying. His hand flew back to the papers and he stared at the man in the photo, who seemed to stare right back.

"I'm a Guide. My job is to help Sentinels who can't help themselves," he mumbled, standing up with newfound determination. "I swore to save people from their misery, and that's what I'm going to do. So I'm here for you, Anti."

And so, the next day came.

The raven-haired man took a deep breath as he stood in front of the room he'd been sent to. It was just like any other in the Containment Facility - the windowless door and the soundproof walls kept any noises in. He glanced at the number on the glass label once more. There was no mistaking it. This had to be Anti's room.

He'd been given the keys already as the new Guide assigned to the Sentinel. That was always the deal - Guides got full access to the people they were taking care of. Sentinels weren't able to function properly by themselves - sometimes they'd shut down or freeze in place, zoning out. In the worst case scenario, their overload episodes could turn harmful and they could become violent while still completely unaware. But that was the price they had to pay for the sake of the powers they were gifted with.

Mark hadn't been told what sort of unique skill Anti possessed. All he knew was that the after-effects of using his powers were unpredictable and dangerous. That was why the blue-eyed Sentinel needed a Guide all the time. Guides all have a special skill of their own - they were able to calm Sentinels down and drag them out of the depths of their own minds.

The raven-haired man clutched the key in his hand. So soon after his graduation and he was already handed the heavy responsibility of somebody else's life. But that was the whole reason he'd decided to take the courses at the Training Centre to become a professional. He wanted to help other; he'd seen enough Sentinels fall victim to their own powers whenever they'd lose control.

When Mark had first found out about being a Guide, he'd felt outlandish. He was sixteen back when it happened. The raven-haired man was shopping and he stumbled upon a crying child. Two women were trying to calm the kid down, but they kept sobbing and screaming. They seemed to be lost. Mark found out the ladies were just some other strangers. He crouched next to the child and simply put his hand on their shoulder. In just a second the kid had stopped crying, and when a worried mother appeared, she said the child was a Sentinel.

"Are you a Guide?" she asked with amazement in her voice. "I have so much trouble calming him down sometimes."

The raven-haired man had been thinking about it ever since. Even as he was knocking on the door to Anti's room, he could still feel that anxiety from ten years before.

There was no need for him to knock, as the Sentinels couldn't open their rooms from the inside, but Mark felt it was appropriate to announce his arrival. He carefully slid the key into the slot and turned it. His heart sped up a bit at the sound of the lock clicking.

Once he pushed open the door, he laid eyes upon a contained Sentinel's room for the first time. It was much smaller than he'd expected, resembling a prison cell more than a bedroom. A simple bed stood in the corner at the back, a worn-out dresser next to it. There was a half-empty bookshelf standing by the wall, accompanied by a tall wardrobe on its left side. A white door with a small, frosted window on the opposite wall separated a bathroom.

And right there, in the furthest corner possible, sat a hunched figure. He was clutching something in his hands, holding it close to his chest.

Mark smiled lightly, hoping it would look encouraging to the other man. He took a sharp breath to introduce himself, but the other spoke up quicker.

"Go away."

The voice was quiet and raspy, pretty much unused. Anti stayed still, though the raven-haired man could tell he was listening for the sound of the door. Mark closed it silently and took a couple of steps forward. He noticed how the Sentinel's shoulders tensed up the closer he got.

"I said, leave me alone." the green-haired man repeated, not hiding the hostility in his voice.

The Guide gave him a pitying look. Just what exactly made him so distrustful? Kjellberg had mentioned the other had had various Guides before. Maybe they hadn't treated him right?

"Hi," he finally spoke up. "I'm Mark. Your new… Guide." The statement felt so foreign on his tongue. But that was the truth - he was now a Guide with a Sentinel under his care.

"I don't give a fuck," Anti mumbled, though he turned his head around so Mark could get a proper look at his face.

The blue-eyed man looked just like he did in the photo. Maybe there were deeper bags under the eyes, and they glimmered with some sort of hate at the moment, but everything else was just as Mark had seen it on the subject sheet.

"You're Anti, right? Well, I was told you prefer that nickname, so I won't pry about your real name for now…" The raven-haired man decided to test his luck and take another step.

"Don't you dare come any closer," Anti hissed out and hugged his knees tight, hiding whatever he'd been holding in his lap. "You're here to use me just like the others, aren't you?"

Mark sighed. That aspect was where the worst part of being a qualified Guide came in. In a way, the Sentinels were stripped of the basic human rights. They weren't allowed to have personal space, especially the more powerful ones. Each Sentinel was given just one Guide that could befriend them so that they weren't alone and helpless in cases of emergency. The biggest problem, though, was that most Guides had to impose themselves on the Sentinels because it took too much time to gain their trust.

And Mark was now facing this dilemma. As much as it went against his personal beliefs, he had to push his way in. He couldn't just leave the green-haired man alone.

"No." His voice was soft and calm. "I… I was hoping we could become friends. I'm not here to hurt you. I'm here only to help."

"Sooner or later I'll make you leave, just like everyone else…" Anti rested his head against his knees and closed his eyes. His expression relaxed as he let out a heavy sigh.

Mark took the opportunity to step closer until he was right next to the bed; he finally sat down. The other man scooted a bit away, though since his back was against the wall already, there was no space left to curl up into.

"I… I don't know what's happened to you, but I don't want to leave you." The raven-haired man reached out hesitantly. It felt so wrong to touch a stranger against their own will, but all the lessons he'd taken rung in his mind. The only way a Guide could help was to get to the Sentinel as soon as possible and offer them physical… _comfort_ , or however else it may be taken as given the scenario.

Anti opened one eye, and once he saw Mark's hand hover in the air, he slapped it away. "Don't even fucking try touching me."

The Guide scrunched up his eyebrows in confusion. He'd never even heard of this type of hostility among Sentinels. It truly had to be personal trust issues, so he thought about starting from there.

"Well, how about we get to know each other first, then?" Mark offered Anti a smile once more. He couldn't let the other's bad mood affect him. "You could start with telling me about your likes and dislikes." It was kind of child-talk, but simple just might do the trick.

"I like being alone in silence. I like when people know they should fuck off. I don't like you."

The raven-haired man pinched the bridge of his nose. This was certainly going to be much harder to bare than he'd expected, but he couldn’t get discouraged. He just… couldn’t. And it wasn’t only because his entire career was on the line before it even began. He truly wanted to help the person curled up next to him.

“Well then… It’s my turn, I suppose,” Mark hid his annoyance as best as he could. “It’s weird to start with dislikes, but they’re faster to get out,” he chuckled. “I hate the ocean.”

Anti made a noise somewhat between confirmation and irritation. The Guide could only hope he was listening to him.

“It’s just so terrifying to think about all the atrocities of nature hiding in its depths,” Mark shuddered, making a silly face. Still, it had no effect on the Anti. The Sentinel wasn’t even looking at him.

“But enough about that,” the hazel-eyed man smiled awkwardly. He could do this. He had to, somehow. One way or another, he would make Anti open up to him. He just wasn’t sure how to do it yet. “About the things I like… Oh boy. I love space, for starters. Like, seriously. The stars, and the planets, and all the other celestial objects on the night sky, they’re just so wonderful.” If there was anything in the world that could make Mark go on a tangent, it was this subject. Before he knew it, words were spilling out of his mouth without control. “If I could visit even one of them, I’d die happily. You know what, if they organised a mission on Mars - an absolutely, one hundred percent certain suicide mission - I’d be the very first guy in the volunteers line!” He was rambling, but that was a thing with him and space. He wasn’t aware of the flood of words until Anti cut in.

“Maybe then you wouldn’t be here bothering me,” the Sentinel grumbled.

“I… I guess you’re right,” the raven-haired man withered. He was about to think this was hopeless when he realised something. If Anti made such a comment it could only mean one thing - he was listening to him! Mark beamed at that realisation.

“Okay, if you don’t like space, let’s talk about something more realistic. Well, not that stars are fake, I mean. But… you know.”

“Know what?” The blue-eyed man shot him a glare.

“Dogs, for example.”

“Dogs.” Anti was still staring at Mark, and surprisingly it was a new record for them of maintaining eye contact.

“Yeah, dogs. Actually, I own one!”

And with that, the Sentinel broke the illusion of them getting along in the raven-haired man’s brain by turning away. The Guide cursed internally, and one of his hands balled up into a fist.

“Her name’s Chica. She’s such a good pup, a literal angel.”

“Mhm,” Anti hummed.

“She’s a golden retriever and I swear her fur is the softest thing in the universe, and her eyes always have this cute, confused look about them.” Mark was grinning now. Just thinking about his dog made his heart flutter. It may have seemed silly to others, but he truly loved his pet.

In the end, the raven-haired man rambled for about fifteen minutes, Chica being the main subject of his monologue. Anti threw in comments of pretended lack of interest a few times, but Mark didn’t believe them. The Sentinel was stealing glances at him, and he noticed his hands twitch sometimes when he heard the stories of the golden retriever jumping into a pool or running around with a pair of fake wings attached. He visibly relaxed his muscles as their time went on, arms uncurling and feet sliding down the bed so that he was sitting.

What made Mark stop, however, was a slow change in Anti’s expression. It went from a furious scowl to a pained grimace after some time. When the Guide asked the other what was wrong, the green-haired man only whined.

“You can leave now. Seriously. I’ve had enough,” Anti whispered as he gripped the object in his lap.

Mark finally noticed it was a photo frame, though he didn’t get a good look at the picture inside. Whoever it depicted, they had to be important to the Sentinel. Something stirred in the raven-haired man’s heart. He knew that person was the key to Anti’s behaviour. If he wanted to keep his job and be the help he’d always wanted, he had to find out who they were.

Although he wanted to stay for a bit longer, Mark decided to respect the Sentinel’s wishes. Before he left, though, he asked one last thing.

“Am I… allowed to touch you?”

Anti lifted his gaze from the frame for a couple of seconds and they both shared a look. The air was tense and the raven-haired man held his breath, waiting for the answer.

“I… don’t know.”

Once he was outside, Mark hid his face in his hands and rested his back against the wall. He felt like a failure. He knew he shouldn’t. They’d warned him at the Training Centre that beginnings would be difficult, but this was different. He didn’t have all the time in the world.

He had only a week. And he’d wasted the first day already.

Mark locked the door and walked downstairs, each step heavy. He didn’t feel like taking the elevator. He needed a long walk to rethink his strategy. The next day, he’d come prepared.

But life was a cruel thing. It loved to surprise everyone in ways they never expected, in the least favourable moments.

Mark had barely stepped into the Containment Facility when he heard the commotion upstairs. People running down the hallways was the first sight that greeted him once the elevator’s door opened. As the raven-haired man slowly walked toward his assigned room, his confusion only rose. He had no idea what was going on until a girl he recognised as one of the nurses collided with him.

“You!” She guffawed. “Where the hell have you been?!”

Mark only blinked, dumbfounded, unable to respond verbally. Nobody had told him he’d have to come at specific hours, so he supposed ten in the morning wouldn’t be so bad.

“Your Sentinel is having an attack, and nobody can control him!” The nurse pushed the Guide in the direction of Anti’s room. “Go to him immediately!”

The hazel-eyed man stood still for only three more seconds before sprinting down the hallway. So it happened. And Mark was late. He ground his teeth in anger. How could he fail like this?

Fury boiled in his veins and the raven-haired man couldn’t control his emotions, couldn’t drown out the hateful thoughts that told him he’d lose his job, his qualifications, he’d fail everyone.

He saw the door and was about to knock and announce his presence so as not to startle Anti when he heard a blood-curdling scream. It belonged to the green-haired Sentinel without a doubt. But even though Mark had never heard him shout, something about his voice was… off. It didn’t sound quite like him.

The Guide turned the key in the lock and pushed the door open. The sight in front of him made his lungs collapse.

Anti was on his knees in the middle of the room, one hand on his throat, squeezing it, the other tangled in fading hair, pulling it viciously like he wanted to rip it out. His arms were spasming - he wasn’t able to control his own muscles. The man’s face was twisted in a bizarre mix of pain, anger and fear. His scowl expressed just as much fury as agony and it was all wrong and unnatural. His jaw was clenched, teeth pressed against one another so hard they looked like they could break any minute. And then, the eyes. They weren’t blue anymore. Their colour was completely gone, pupils dilated so much the entire iris was black. No, that wasn’t right. It wasn’t just the inside; every single part of his eyes was pitch black with a dangerous red shine in them.

The things he was shouting, however, were the worst.

“ **You fucking bitch, get out, get out, GET OUT! I’ll rip your throat apart, slice your tongue, gouge your eyes out, I’ll make you BLEED!** ”

It wasn’t Anti’s voice. It couldn’t be. It sounded too deep, too… horrifying. Mark stood frozen in the doorframe. He’d heard the spite in the Sentinel’s voice the day before, and it wasn’t  _that_ bad This certainly couldn’t be Anti.

“ **Fuck, fuck, FUCK! DIE already, you piece of SHIT!** ” The green-haired man was screaming his lungs out. But then, an unexpected sentence slipped out of his mouth.

“ _I don’t want to die…_ ”

It was quiet and weak, incomparable to everything else Anti was spewing out. His voice switched pitch and tone entirely just for it, but it was soon drowned out by other screams.

“ **I said GET OUT! You USELESS thing!** ”

Mark snapped out of it, slapping himself. How could he just stand like that and stare, when the life he’d been entrusted with was in danger? He rushed over to Anti’s side and was about to grab his wrists when he heard it again.

“ _I don’t want to die…”_

Weak, said almost breathlessly. Abruptly stopping on the last word. The raven-haired man hesitated, arms hovering in the air. In the end, he hadn’t got the Sentinel’s permission to touch him yet. He cursed the nature of his job as he breached the other’s personal space and yanked his arms, making Anti lose balance and fall on his chest. More screams and uncontrollable insults fell from his lips as he thrashed around, but Mark didn’t let go. He kept the green-haired man close, making sure he couldn’t hurt himself and felt tears sting his own eyes.

“I’m sorry,” he whispered as he felt Anti’s muscles slowly relax, the tension leaving them. The Sentinel’s voice got quiet, no longer shouting.

“ _I don’t want to die…_ ” The sentence left his mouth a few more times before he turned completely silent. His arms went limp and Mark let them go, praying for the attack to be over. He didn’t want to fight the other.

They sat on the floor in complete silence, interrupted only by the Guide’s soft and the Sentinel’s erratic breathing. Mark didn’t dare to move, waiting for Anti to open his eyes. Soon enough the green-haired man stirred, mumbling something as his hands twitched. They were still in a rather compromising pose, and as soon as he realised he was being held, Anti shoved Mark away and stood up. His legs wobbled and he couldn’t keep his balance, so he collapsed on the bed. At least his eyes were back to normal, though the blue orbs stared daggers into the raven-haired man’s heart.

“What… Why the fuck did you touch me?!” He screamed, the words dying out in his sore throat. It was nothing like the screaming from just a few minutes ago. It was furious but lacked the killing intent the words carried before.

“I had to,” Mark spoke carefully as he slowly rose to his feet. He didn’t want to look dominant in this situation, so he stood a bit hunched up, keeping in mind that Anti was sitting on the bed.

“No! I told you-!” The Sentinel stopped mid-sentence, possibly remembering his own words. “You…”

“You were hurting.” The raven-haired man put up his hands in a peaceful gesture, taking a step towards the other. “I’m sorry.”

Anti looked away, swallowing thickly. He bit his bottom lip and pulled his knees up towards his chest. He seemed to feel safe being curled up, and Mark wished for nothing but safety for him.

“I don’t need you,” he muttered, the voice harsh in the Guide’s ears.

“I’m really sorry. But please, just…”

“Just what?!” The blue-eyed man snapped, glaring at him. “I told you, you’re here to use me, like the rest of them!”

“Why do you think so?” Mark snapped back. He’d promised himself after the failed visit the day before that he’d try being more assertive.

“Because… Because…” Anti was surprisingly having troubles coming up with a reason. “You just- You all ignore what I want, only caring about my fucking powers!”

The raven-haired man didn’t take another step. Although they were just a meter apart, not counting the space on the bed, he knew that this was the limit of the Sentinel’s comfort zone. The look in his eyes and the nervous pulling on the covers told him so. He couldn’t think of a good counter - he didn’t even know what Anti’s abilities were yet.

“I care.” Mark mustered up a sad smile. “I… I’ve barely finished my training as a Guide.”

He wasn’t sure why he was going to tell the green-haired man his story. Technically, he shouldn’t reveal that he was inexperienced. But maybe, just maybe, if he made himself look vulnerable, the other would stop seeing him as a threat.

“I was offered this job without any real experience. I don’t know much about how this Facility works, or what sort of Guides gave your case a try. But… I don’t care. I’m here to do it my way. And my way is…well, I told you already. I want to be friends. I don’t want you to get hurt. I just want us to get along.”

Anti listened to him with lips pursed in a tight line. He mumbled something quietly and Mark could swear he heard “trying to replace” in there.

“Please, Anti,” the hazel-eyed man begged. “Give me a chance. That’s all I ask for.”

The Sentinel looked at him, his eyes a bit softer than a moment ago. Although they lacked a healthy shine to them, his ocean blue irises were stunning in its own way. His long eyelashes batted against his skin as he blinked several times, pondering the proposal.

“How much time did they give you?” He hissed out after minutes of silence.

“A week.” Mark felt embarrassed to admit it. He supposed it wasn’t hard to guess he had a time limit on his head.

“Fine. Like hell you’re going to make a difference in six days.”

“What?” The raven-haired man looked confused.

“I said, fine. I don’t care if you touch me. You’ll be gone soon anyway.” Anti fell onto his bed and turned around, his back facing Mark. “I want to be left alone.”

“Wait, let’s talk…” The Guide reached out. But then the other grabbed a plushie that was in the corner of the bed and hugged it close, shutting his eyes. He had to be exhausted after the attack. So Mark only made a mental note that the thing he was embracing was a small, round, green… eyeball? It was adorable, in a way. He decided not to voice his thoughts, though.

“I’ll be back in the afternoon, then,” he said softly and heard a murmur of confirmation. The raven-haired man remembered to lock the door after he walked out of the room and considered his position. As long as he didn’t know about Anti’s abilities, he was pretty much left in the dark. But this was the first lead. After that, he thought back to the photo frame. He hadn’t seen it anywhere that day. He could always try asking about the plush - maybe it was a gift?

Mark walked to the elevators, wondering who he could ask about those things. Concerning the Sentinel’s skills, pretty much any employee should be able to give him the answer. He remembered a nurse - his name was Robin if he wasn’t mistaken. They’d met briefly after the Guide had been assigned to Anti. He handled most of the Sentinel’s injuries. Mark made the choice of starting with that as he rode the lift to the ground floor.

The nurse had short, well-styled, russet hair and a small smile on his face. He was wearing a simple white buttoned-up shirt, but a colourful top peeked out from underneath it near the collar. He was a bit shorter than Mark, and as soon as he noticed the Guide standing by the door to his office, he walked up to him.

“Oh, hi. Good job back there,” he said. “Is Anti hurt?”

“No, only his throat is sore, I guess,” the Guide smiled back. “I actually came here with a question.”

“Oh? How can I help you?” Robin motioned for him to step inside and they both sat down. He looked through some paperwork but nodded for Mark to speak, letting him know he was listening.

“What is… his ability?”

The nurse finished his signature on one sheet, and his pen hovered in the air as he lifted his gaze.

“You… Don’t know?”

The raven-haired man only shook his head, feeling his cheeks turn pink. That was embarrassing to admit, actually.

“Oh. So… Mr Kjellberg didn’t tell you,” Robin took a deep breath. “Well… his powers are useful for several things, that’s for sure.”

“And those things are...?”

“One would be putting down crime organisations.”

“How?” Mark sat up straight in the chair.

“See, Anti can… enter people’s minds.” The man opened an organiser and put some papers away on the shelf. “He’s capable of telepathy to some degree, as well. He can implement alien thoughts into other’s heads.”

“That sounds scary.”

Robin smiled tightly and filled some other forms. “It is. But it’s even worse for him.”

“I can only imagine.”

“Sometimes he sees things he shouldn't. And they stay with him. Or so I’ve been told.”

“He seems to be very distant.” Mark scratched his chin in thought. That opened up new paths in his mind. He finally got some solid clues as to how to handle the Sentinel. “Does this… screaming… happen often?”

“If it didn’t,” the nurse looked directly into his eyes, “they wouldn’t be trying to find a new Guide for him so badly.”

The raven-haired man only stuttered out a small “oh” in response.

They sat quietly for a couple of minutes, Robin typing something out on his computer and Mark losing himself in his thoughts.

In a way, he could think about Anti as a victim of trauma. The lack of trust could be a result of bad experiences connected with his work. After all, breaking into a crime lord’s mind must’ve been an unpleasant experience. Maybe he saw memories of executions. Or heavy abuse of women, children. Or things filled with dubious consent, if any at all. It was enough to make someone give up on humanity. The raven-haired man pondered what to do next. He instinctually wanted to be more coddling but wouldn’t that just be annoying? He really wouldn’t be making things easier for anybody.

“Can I ask you another question?” Mark looked at Robin after he remembered the sight of Anti curled up on his bed.

“Sure. I’m here to help.” Robin still wore that welcoming smile.

“Where did Anti get that green plush ball from?” In the retrospect, it did quite stand out in the bland room with its vibrant colours.

“Oh. That. That… was a present. From one of his… previous Guides.”

“He seems fond of it. Did they get along?”

Robin looked down, not replying for some time. He avoided eye contact when speaking as well. “Well… I imagine so. I wasn’t around back then.”

“So you can’t tell me what happened to them?” Mark felt a sting in his heart, the thread lost.

“Not really. Sorry.”

“It’s alright.” The Guide got up. “I’ll be going, don’t want to distract you from your work.”

“Okay, good luck with everything! Oh, just one thing,” He added as he was about to wave him goodbye.

“What is it?”

“Don’t… pry into it too much.”

“What?” Mark raised an eyebrow.

“I know there was one Guide that got along with Anti. But nobody wants to talk about it… So be careful who you ask.”

The raven-haired man nodded and left the office. Now that was a peculiar thought. Whoever that Guide had been, they had to be at least partially responsible for Anti’s attitude towards Mark. He could only hope they weren’t a bad person.

The brown-eyed man originally had the plan of paying the boss a visit afterwards, but Robin’s words made him change his mind about that. Kjellberg had to know about the whole ordeal with Anti’s Guides and there was a reason he wasn’t telling Mark everything, leaving him in the dark. Maybe a part of his job was finding it all out by himself. If the raven-haired man could solve this mystery, he’d prove he was capable of taking care of the Sentinel. But then again, digging up Anti’s past felt like disrespecting his privacy.

Mark really had no choice. He decided to chat with the people working by the front desk, looking for more clues. That didn’t get him far, other than confirming that Anti had managed not to scare off at least one Guide for longer than a month, which was already something. It meant a path to his heart existed and the raven-haired man was on his way to find it.

After grabbing something for lunch, Mark went back to Anti’s room. He didn’t have a lot of ammunition for a conversation but he’d be damned if he wasn’t going to try his best. He knocked on the door after he slid the key into the slot and heard the Sentinel’s muffled voice.

“Go away.”

He smiled and opened the door. “It’s just me.”

“I know. That’s why I told you to get lost,” Anti grumbled.

He was sitting on the bed, holding a book. The raven-haired man noticed a plate discarded on the floor along with plastic cutlery. So the blue-eyed man had eaten as well.

“Not a very nice way to greet a friend.”

“You’re not my friend,” the Sentinel huffed and put the book away, knowing he wouldn’t be able to read as long as Mark was in the room.

“But I want to be.” The Guide smiled and approached the bed. He didn’t sit on it, instead looking into Anti’s eyes for permission. The Sentinel stretched out his legs so they covered the majority of the mattress, crossed his arms, and stuck his tongue out.

“Then keep standing like an idiot.”

“So what, if I admitted to being a stranger, you’d let me sit down?” Mark laughed.

“No. Why are you here, anyway?”

“To have a nice chat with you.”

“Chats with me aren’t nice.” Anti kept the tongue out. The raven-haired man’s eyes would sometimes shift to it.

“Why?”

“Because I don’t want to talk to you and I’ll make sure you have absolutely zero fun talking with me.”

“I should feel flattered, then.” Mark kept smiling. He noticed the annoyance growing in the other’s voice. “To think that you’re willing to put in so much effort just for me!”

“Fuckers like you deserve special treatment.”

The Guide snorted and pushed Anti’s legs out of the way to make some space for him to sit down. The Sentinel responded with a hiss, curling his legs.

“Nice plushie.” Mark pointed at the eyeball. Instinctively, the green-haired man covered it with a hand and looked away, cheeks turning pink.

“Piss off.”

“You like it?”

“What's it to you?” Anti kept grinding his teeth. “This doesn't concern you.”

“Jeez, I was just asking.” The Guide put up hands in the air. “No need to get so defensive.”

“Maybe I like it, maybe I don’t.” The Sentinel’s hand squeezed around the black seam of the pupil.

Mark gave him a warm smile. “Where did you get it?”

He wasn’t expecting any cooperation from Anti, but he also wasn’t expecting a sudden outburst.

“Fuck off, I said!” The green-haired man screamed and kicked Mark on the hip. The raven-haired man fell off the bed and groaned in pain.  He wanted to shout back in defence but knew it wouldn’t help anything.

“I’m sorry, I’m sorry!” Mark rubbed his aching side. “Let’s change the subject, then…”

Anti grumbled and the raven-haired man sighed, knowing the other was going to be uncooperative again.

“What do you usually do here?”

“Sit.” The Sentinel grabbed the plushie and put it in his lap. Mark had to hold back a groan of annoyance.

“And while you sit? Do you read often?”

“When I feel like it.”

Well, that was some sort of a coherent, non-aggressive answer. The Guide felt it was a success.

“What sort of books do you prefer?” Mark kept shifting the gaze to the green eyeball. It was peculiar, to say the least. Definitely custom made. He wanted to gather as many clues as he could before approaching the subject again. On top of that, something was telling him it was a hint for the bigger mystery of the Sentinel’s past.

“Will you fucking stop?” The blue-eyed man suddenly snapped, glaring at the other.

“What? What did I do wrong this time?” The raven-haired man put up hands defensively. Conversations with Anti were like walking on a tightrope, one word too many and he was blowing up.

“Everything!” The Sentinel raised his voice. “Your stupid smiles, pretending you’re so friendly, that you care…” Just then, his voice cracked, and Mark’s eyes widened.

“But I do. I swear, none of this is fake…” The Guide took a steadying breath. If he wasn’t careful now, Anti could become too emotional.

“You don’t even know what you want to find out.” Anti abandoned the plushie and covered his eyes. “It’s almost like you want to get inside my head. And I’m telling you now, I don’t need _another one_ in there.”

The way he said it sounded wrong. The green-haired man’s voice switched tones for just two words again, as if it weren’t him. The day before, Mark wouldn’t have understood what the other meant. But now, with his new knowledge, the Guide could take a guess.

“It’s not like that, Anti,” the raven-haired man spoke gently. “I know there are bad voices in your head, but I’m not going to be another one of them…”

“You don’t understand!” The Sentinel screamed, this time jumping at Mark to push him off with enough force to make it hurt. “None of you do anymore!”

“Wha…?”

“The first ones at least fucking knew, and they thought nothing of it! And now they think they can put another goody-two-shoes in here and it’ll suddenly be fine! It won’t! You fucking hear me?! _It won’t!”_

The Sentinel didn’t care that he was losing his voice. Anti’s blue eyes brightened up a little and Mark felt his stomach flip as he noticed a green shine dancing around his irises.

“Please, calm down… I didn’t mean to…”

“Of fucking course you didn’t!” Anti jumped off the bed, and the Guide did his best to get up as fast as he could. This situation has become dangerous and he didn’t know how to control it.

Well, there was one way. But Mark was not going to force a stupid hug on the Sentinel. He wanted to build their relationship on trust and respect. So he turned his head away, lowering his gaze to the floor.

“Oh, _now_ you’re quiet? Fuck you!” Anti bared his teeth, his entire stance suggesting that Mark better not try sitting back down on the bed. “Leave me fucking alone before I claw your eyes out!”

The raven-haired man sighed quietly, retreating from the room. He knew that if the Sentinel suffered an attack now, it’d be completely his own fault for agitating him.

“I’m sorry,” Mark whispered before he left. He felt so defeated. But he couldn’t let himself get discouraged. Once he returned to the living quarters of the Facility - he’d been given a room there for his trial period in order to have faster access to Anti - the raven-haired man grabbed a notebook and a pen in order to write down everything he’d managed to learn about the Sentinel.

He felt that no clue could be overlooked or put aside. The key to befriending Anti and earning his trust was understanding his past. The hardest part about it all wasn’t the green-haired man’s lack of cooperation, it was trying to learn anything with as little questions directed toward the Sentinel as possible.

Mark knew that wearing a smile the next morning would be plainly annoying to Anti, but he didn’t care. Maybe one time he’d succeed in making the Sentinel look a bit brighter.

“Great. The loser’s back,” the green-haired man grumbled, setting a cup of tea aside. The Guide noticed it wasn’t steaming. Perhaps Sentinels like Anti weren’t allowed anything potentially damaging in their rooms, just like the plastic cutlery he’d seen the day before.

“Why, good morning to you too.” Mark snickered. He was glad the Sentinel didn’t seem to be as angry as he’d left him the day before. “So what are your plans for today?”

“Making you leave.”

The raven-haired man closed his eyes and took a deep breath. Once he looked back at Anti, he was back to the composure he’d entered the room with. “I assure you, this game will get boring pretty soon.”

“Oh really?” Something flashed in the Sentinel’s foggy eyes, and the corners of his mouth twitched. “Because I noticed all I have to do is get angry.”

Mark’s eyes widened a bit. This wasn’t good. If Anti wanted, he could just let himself get set off by the tiniest things. The Guide didn’t want to be stepping on thin ice constantly, not when he wanted to keep investigating.

“L-listen, I’m trying my best here… I seriously want us to get along…” He made himself a bit smaller as he approached the Sentinel.

“You really don’t have to.” Anti lowered his voice. “I’m not changing my mind. I don’t want another Guide.”

Mark stood right next to the bed, clenching his fists. He could ask, but he was afraid of the repercussions. The thought of having just five days left lingered in his mind, though. He had to throw any hesitations aside.

“Why? Why do you not want any more Guides?”

The Sentinel slowly raised his head to have his eyes meet Mark’s. The greyish blue now looked so cold, and steely. The raven-haired man wasn’t sure if it was because of the dark bags under them, or because of the messy fringe casting another shadow, or because of the angle of the sunlight. But they glistened dangerously in contrast to the usual dullness.

“Why? _Why?_ Are you seriously asking?”

“Listen, I told you, I’m completely new here… I know the previous Guides didn’t have enough patience for you, but… they couldn’t have hurt you this much, could they…?”

Anti jumped off the bed, standing slightly taller than Mark. The raven-haired man hadn’t seen this much life in those eyes before. The Sentinel tangled his fingers in the Guide’s shirt and pushed him.

“Yes, they have! They all have, telling me to fucking get over everything!” When Mark’s back met the wall, Anti didn’t stop. He pinned the other against the wall. “Every. Single. One of them!”

The raven-haired man couldn’t really avoid the incoming punch in his position. Anti’s fist met his stomach and Mark coughed upon the impact.

“And you, you’re next! Barging in here, full of your shitty questions, thinking I’ll oh-so-miraculously open up about myself like it’s a fucking therapy session!”

Another punch made the Guide gasp for breath. He escaped from the relatively weak grip, but Anti was furious and swung at Mark’s face. Thankfully the raven-haired man avoided that hit.

“C-calm down! I’m not… I’m not trying to force you! I just want to talk!”

“Stop! Stop talking like that!” There was that green glow of warning in Anti’s eyes again. “Stop pretending you’re so fucking nice, and patient!”

Mark had to be careful - the room was too small to avoid every punch, and he was still aching in the chest. All he could do was back away towards the door, but that gave him an advantage for maybe two seconds before Anti was in front of him.

“I can’t fucking take this anymore!” The Sentinel was screaming now, hints of tears in the corners of his eyes. “So STOP!”

“Please, just talk to me!” Mark didn’t want to break Anti, but at the same time, he didn’t want to stop. He felt he could finally get somewhere, even if he was just going to hear about the previous Guides that hurt the Sentinel. “Give me something to work with, anything!”

Anti wasn’t stopping with his violence. “What the fuck do you want to hear?! That I don’t trust you?! That I don’t trust anyone anymore?! That every single day I’m hurting and no one cares to help?!”

“I do! I care!” The Guide caught the Sentinel’s wrists to stop the assault, though Anti was trying vehemently to break free. “I want to help, so please, tell me what’s hurting you!”

The next scream that the green-haired man let out was full of pure fury and ache, like that of a wounded animal. Tears finally spilt down pale cheeks, and he kept tugging until he was free again.

“He’s GONE! He’s fucking gone!” The punches he threw now weren’t as powerful, but he didn’t stop hitting his chest. The tears were rolling down his face, dripping from his chin, and his eyes seemed to have dimmed a bit, going back to their natural blue.

Mark’s heart ached as well, seeing his Sentinel in that state. He acted on instinct, wrapping his arms around Anti delicately in a hug. The green-haired man wept for a while into his shirt, his crooked fingers hooked onto it. Mark felt Anti’s entire body shake with so many emotions, but he knew the Sentinel couldn’t suffer from an attack if he was in the embrace of a Guide.

Such a peaceful moment couldn’t last for too long, however, as Anti pushed himself away soon enough. He turned around, not showing Mark his face anymore.

“... Leave. Just… go.” His voice was weak, yet he tried his best to sound emotionless. The raven-haired man understood that any question right now would overstep the boundaries of the little trust he had received.

Mark watched as Anti walked back to the bed, falling on it and reaching for the plush eyeball to press his face against it and cry into the soft fabric. The sight broke the Guide’s heart, but he knew he had to leave the room for now.

Mark had found out something crucial. He didn’t even have to confirm it with anyone. Anti’s actions and words were quite clear - the one Guide he had liked was dead. The raven-haired man knew about the relationships some Guides and Sentinels in the containment facility had - while most of them sold it as very good friendships, they were often on the border of romantic relationships. He didn’t want to make assumptions, though. Anyone could hurt just as much after losing their best friend. Whoever the Guide had been, and whatever their connection entailed, he had meant the world to Anti.

Mark knew he couldn’t possibly compete with such a strong bond, but the least he could do was understand.

The following day, neither of them spoke of the topic. The raven-haired man gave the Sentinel the space he needed and hadn’t come back to his room. On one hand, he’d wasted another day, on another, he’d gotten a valuable clue. The fourth day would let him get to know another side of Anti. One he hadn’t had the opportunity to see yet.

Administrator Kjellberg had warned Mark that they needed Anti fully operational as soon as possible. This meant that even though the Guide was temporary, the Sentinel still had to put his abilities to use. Anti wouldn’t be leaving the Facility, however.

“Anti will interrogate a suspect for us,” Robin told Mark. He was surprised as to why he had decided to accompany him to the interrogation room, but he simply explained he was one of the nurses responsible for monitoring Anti’s health. Sure, Guides could stop the Sentinels from harming themselves, but before they could intervene, a Sentinel would usually manage to hurt themselves in some way. “That’s where I come in. Once you calm him down, I’ll look over his injuries.”

“Right. Makes sense.” Mark smiled sheepishly. It should’ve been obvious.

They both waited in the interrogation room, and soon enough, they saw Anti come in. His hands and ankles were bound with chains, and Mark made a sound of protest. The guard that brought the Sentinel in took them off, though, and Anti simply scoffed as he glanced at the Guide. He sat down in the chair, and the sight of his back reminded Mark of yesterday morning.

_Just go._

He didn’t like how he’d left things, but Anti seemed fine. He hadn’t lost his control either.

“Go, stand by him,” Robin whispered after a while, just before the suspect was brought in. “It’ll be easier for you to act if you’re closer.”

Mark gulped and nodded. Even as he entered Anti’s field of vision, he felt the Sentinel purposefully avoiding his eyes. The raven-haired man wasn’t sure if being ignored was a good or a bad thing.

The man that entered the room minutes later was a middle-aged guy with a bald head, small beady eyes, and a tattoo of a dragon on the side of his neck. The guard behind him had to continuously prod his back to make him walk. He snapped at the guard once or twice, but having a rifle pointing at him convinced him not to try anything funny. Unlike Anti, he wasn’t released from his bindings and he was forced to sit down on the other side of the table.

“Oh, so you’re the freak?” The suspect chuckled with disdain. “What are you gonna do, monkey? Show me your silly tricks, just like they want you to.”

Mark scoffed. “Don’t listen to him, he’s just trying to get to y-”

“Shut up.” The Sentinel cut him off. “I know what to do. So shut up.”

“Oh, look at you. Pretending they don’t put a muzzle on you, that you can bark all you want.” The suspect leaned forward, a challenge in his voice. “Come on then, boy. _Bite me._ ”

Anti didn’t reply. His gaze intensified, and Mark felt slight unease at the bottom of his stomach as he saw the Sentinel’s eyes change colour. Cold blue faded into dangerous emerald, and Anti breathed in.

“You’re going to tell me everything you know.”

The other man was still smirking, pretending the Sentinel had no effect on him. But Anti wasn’t stopping. Mark’s eyes widened as he saw more colours swirling in his irises. They didn’t stop at any shade of green. Through yellow, they quickly jumped to vicious red, more intense than blood. The eyes almost seemed to glow, and the Guide noticed Anti gripping the table. His voice got much deeper like something was possessing him.

“Talk. I’ll fucking make you. I see _everything_ you’re hiding there, and I’ll use it to _break_ you.”

Suddenly, the suspect’s own eyes went wider than Mark suspected they even could, and he opened his mouth, suddenly babbling about various things unrelated to one another. Anti’s nails were nearly digging into the hardwood, as he flipped through the other’s mind like an open book. He gritted his teeth, and the Guide grimaced at the intensity in which his jaw was clenched.

The interrogation couldn’t end easily, however. Anti abruptly got up, sending the chair tumbling back. He clutched his head, and let out a blood-curdling shriek.

“Fuck, get out, GET OUT, **GET OUT!** ” His voice changed so fast, that Mark almost couldn’t believe what he was hearing. The last word sounded just like the suspect the Sentinel had been interrogating just now. But Anti was the one screaming with that voice, not him. “ **Fuck off! Y-you tool!** “

“What the hell are you doing?!” The raven-haired man heard the nurse yell. “Help him!”

Mark had to snap out of his shock, because he had failed to notice how Anti was dragging nails across his face, starting from the eyes downward. That awful red colour was fading into total darkness, and the Guide knew he shouldn’t ever let this happen again. He finally reacted, taking a hold of Anti’s arms and tugging him towards Mark.  

“ **NO! Leave, leave, LEAVE!** ” A few more screams left the Sentinel’s mouth, but he stopped trying to break free after a minute in Mark’s embrace. Eventually, the yelling died out as well, and Anti was just sniffing quietly. Once he came to, however, he pushed Mark away and growled.

“Fuck off, I didn’t need that. I-I was fine.” He wiped some of the blood off his face, but once he heard a scoff from Robin, he left the wounds alone. The nurse used some gauze to soak up the blood and made Anti press it against the cuts to stop the bleeding. He ushered both of them to go to his office.

Mark didn’t answer. He wanted to argue, that Anti was on the verge of losing it, but it was a lost cause. The Sentinel was just too stubborn.

Robin tended to Anti’s wounds as Mark stood in the corner of the office.

“Listen, I just did what I had to-”

“Shut the fuck up,” Anti hissed. He then hissed again, because the peroxide the nurse used stung his cuts. “I told you I was _fine_.”

Robin clicked his tongue but didn’t add to the conversation. Mark noticed, however, that he was on the Guide’s side.

“It’s you who was fucking useless there. If you wanted me not to get hurt so badly, then why the fuck did you even let me touch my face?” That comment stung Mark in return. The Guide didn’t know how to answer, exactly. He was aware of his failure. If Robin hadn’t been there with them, Anti might’ve hurt himself much more.

The guard locked the Sentinel’s wrists and ankles once he was let out of the office and escorted him back to his room. Robin sighed heavily when Anti was gone.

“It’s not looking good.”

“Did he hurt himself that badly?” Mark asked nervously.

“No, I’m talking about your relationship,” the nurse specified. “He really doesn’t trust you…”

“I don’t know what to do. I’m trying my best but he doesn’t want to talk.”

“I can’t help you, no matter how much I wish I could, but you’ve got to figure this out. I don’t think he can take much more of anything…”

Mark looked down, pursing his lips. If he couldn’t gain Anti’s trust, the Sentinel was going to shut himself down for good.

“I know,” he whispered and walked out of the office.

The rest of the day was pretty much wasted. Anti was cold and distant as ever, and Mark ended up monologuing some of the stories from his life, hoping for a reaction. The Sentinel was just hugging his plushie, sometimes murmuring a response, but overall no real conversation happened. At least this time when the raven-haired man left the room, he didn’t do so because he heard “Leave me alone.”

On day five something unexpected happened. As soon as Mark entered the building, one of the receptionists stopped him.

“Mr Kjellberg wants to see you now,” she said, her voice indicating that the Guide should hurry.

They had never exactly told him what time he should arrive at work, but he felt that the reception workers weren’t too fond of his 9 A.M. arrivals. Mark went to the elevator and chose the top floor. He had no idea why the Administrator would want to see him. He still had two days left.

“I’ve heard some news about you asking around.” That definitely was not a pleased tone.

The raven-haired man took a sharp inhale. He’d tried limiting his questions about Anti, Robin’s warning at the back of his mind, but apparently mentioning the Sentinel’s name alone was enough to stir up some rumours.  

Kjellberg turned around, looking through the glass at the world outside. Apparently, he tended to do that, making sure that anyone who talked to him knew that he had the upper hand in the conversation. “I can’t say I’m too fond of it.”

“I understand, sir.” Mark felt uneasy. “I was just trying to gather some information-”

“ _What_ information?” The Guide noticed the Administrator glaring at him in the reflection on the window. “You should be focusing on your own task, Fishbach.”

“Sir, I’ve just… I thought knowing the Sentinel’s past would help me get closer to him…”

“All you should know is that Anti won’t trust you just because you know what happened,” Kjellberg sighed loudly. “Because I can tell you that we’ve already had Guides try that. People who worked here when it happened.”

Mark bit his tongue. Just when he thought he was on the right trail…

“But...I may just give you the access to the incident report.” The Administrator faced the Guide, though still gave him a cold look. “Given that your trial period is about to end, and I haven’t noticed any significant progress, I fail to see how this can improve your case. But at least you’ll stop prodding.”

He walked over to the cabinets and looked over the folders before pulling one out. He then extended his arm in Mark’s direction for him to take the file.

“I’m giving you one final warning. Should you agitate the Sentinel any further using this information, you’ll lose any chance at professional work in the field.”

The Guide took the file hesitantly and nodded. “Th… thank you.” It wasn’t too encouraging, knowing that the Administrator had little faith in him, but at least Mark now felt he had all the cards in his hands. He just needed to know how to play them.

The case file described an incident from a few years back. Anti was the Sentinel assigned to the mission, supposedly sent somewhere to do fieldwork. Mark had no idea the green-haired man could leave the Facility from time to time. But then again, some criminals probably weren’t as obedient as to let the authorities capture them in order to be interrogated. Anti apparently could render some people defenceless with his powers as well, overriding their thoughts.

The job description didn’t catch the raven-haired man’s interest. He shuffled through the papers until he stumbled upon a profile of a certain man. Sean “Jack” McLoughlin, 28, male, Guide, _deceased_. Mark felt a spike of anxiety in his heart. This was what he was looking for. The man in the picture looked so much alike Anti in some ways. The bright blue eyes, the dyed neon green hair, the neatly trimmed beard. The Sentinel could probably look very similar if only he had more life in him. But they didn’t look like brothers, no. The faces were clearly different.

Then, something got Mark’s attention. While the profile picture didn’t capture much of the clothing, the Guide noticed a green circle on McLoughlin’s shoulder. A green… _eye_. Mark had seen it before. There was no mistaking it.

He had to be careful about this.

By the time the raven-haired man got to the Sentinel’s room, it was past midday. Anti was reading a book once more, and was doing his best to make sure Mark felt ignored. His back was propped up by two pillows, and his legs stretched out onto the bed, covering the majority of it. The Guide sighed quietly. While pushing Anti’s legs, which earned him a grumble of irritation, but managed to get some sitting space.

“How else can I show you that you can trust me?”  

The gracious response Mark received was the sound of a page turning. Not even a glance.

“Can I at least know why? Is it because I have no experience?” The raven-haired man asked, his eyebrows slightly raised.

Again, no reply. Just the rustle of paper. Mark glanced at the plushie tucked in the corner. The question was on the tip of his tongue, yet he decided to leave it be for now. It’d be his last line of defence.

“You just don’t want to trust _Guides_ , do you? You seemed to tolerate that nurse yesterday more than me.”

“He did his job,” Anti muttered.

Finally, a verbal response. “But I didn’t?”

“No. And I hate you for that.”

The raven-haired man felt that one sting. Only now did he notice the angry red marks on the Sentinel’s cheeks. The cuts weren’t deep, so they scabbed overnight, but they were still visible.

“If that’s how you want it, fine. I’m doing everything I can… But I see at this rate I’ll fail.”

“Good.” That was the last word Mark heard from Anti that day. Despite trying to change the course of the conversation, suggesting more neutral topics, the green-haired man didn’t say anything else. When he couldn’t read the book anymore because of the Guide’s talking, he just laid down, curling up with his back facing Mark.

It hurt the raven-haired man so much. Not just the fact that Anti didn’t want to trust him, but also because he was just fine with living this way. Rotting away in a cell like a prisoner, hardly ever being let out. Mark feared that the last time the Sentinel was outside was when the accident actually happened.

It was only natural this depression ate away all of his will to live.

The Guide really didn't want to do it, but he felt this was his best shot. So on the sixth day, when he felt the deadline breathing down his neck, he promised himself that he was going to go all out.

Even if it meant stepping over the line.

“It’s… from _Jack_ , isn’t it?” Mark asked after a few minutes of silence he and Anti shared in the Sentinel’s room. The green-haired man was hugging the plushie, now much less reluctant about showing it to Mark than before. He stopped tugging at the tail as he heard the question, though.

Anti’s arms coiled around the soft fabric, shielding the emerald colour, hiding it from the Guide’s eyes. His expression was still blank, but his eyes were much wider. His bottom lip trembled, some words asking to be let out, but he held them back.

The raven-haired man watched Anti’s face cautiously. It was shifting so slowly, seemingly not expressing much. But every slight twitch, every shiver, contained years of suppressed emotions. His breaths were so silent that any other sound in the room could easily drown them out. They were so uneven, his chest quivering as he mulled over the question. No, it wasn’t quite that. This was the calm before the storm.

The Sentinel’s silence and stillness were a warning.

Mark’s hands twitched as he saw violent colours swirl in Anti’s iris. Green clashing with blue, sucking it in, mixing, but no hue prevailed. Like a broken signal, they were shifting, never settling on one colour. The Guide had never seen that happen. His body tensed up, ready to apprehend the Sentinel at any moment.

But Anti was still keeping it in, even though every muscle in his body was now spasming. Mark saw them jump, as Anti’s fingers dug into the plush, as his feet were tapping against the floor. He couldn’t hold back for much longer. He was a volcano ready to erupt.

“YoU… W...weREn’t… SuPPOsed TO find **OUT**!” His words sounded like Anti was retching, throwing them up one by one. His voice wasn’t his anymore. “It was supPOSED TO be a SECRET!”

“Anti, I had to know. T-to get to know you better…”

“ **No, you didn’t**.”

The Sentinel jumped at Mark, his hands immediately going for the Guide’s throat. The raven-haired man's eyes went wide as he felt the bony fingers start to squeeze.

“I told YOU to STAY **AWAY**!” Among the screaming, Mark felt tears drop down on his face. Anti was crying, but the fury was much stronger now, and he didn't care about losing all composure.

Mark's vision was slowly swimming, his head spinning. He had to do something before the world went dark. He wanted to respect the Sentinel’s boundaries, to be careful, but he knew this time that he had to disregard it all. There was no space for hesitation. He was done helplessly watching things unfold.

Before he could spot another shift in the colours of Anti's eyes, he caught the other's wrists, prying them away from his throat. The determination in his grip worked immediately, as the Sentinel's eyes flickered even more.

“No! **LET GO!** Stop it! Stop stop **stop!”** There was still something wrong with Anti's voice. It was still filled with anger, but now it also sounded… hurt.

Once Mark could breathe freely, he stared into the Sentinel's eyes. And he noticed something horrifying.

Anti was _scared._

The tears dripping down his face were filled with fear, not frustration. That was why the green-haired man kept screaming, tugging desperately to release his wrists.

Mark wasn't letting go, however. “You're scared.”

“S-shut up! No! Let me go, I said!” While his voice turned back to normal, he kept the volume up.

“It's not about me, is it?” The raven-haired man kept holding the other's hands in his grip as he sat back up.

Anti didn't know what to do. He was avoiding eye contact, helplessly twitching his arms. There was no end to the tears, so occasionally he'd sniffle or hiccup. His expression made him look just like a wounded deer caught in a bear trap that didn't want anyone to get close despite its cries.

“N-no… let me go… I… I… “

“Why, Anti?” Mark made the question sound as soft as he could..

“No, I don't want to… I can't… D-don't replace him… “

“But I've told you, I don't want to replace-”

“No! They said! They all said it!” The Sentinel screamed, catching Mark a bit off-guard. “That he's gone, and I need a replacement! I don't want to! I DON'T WANT TO!”

The raven-haired man's hold loosened enough for Anti to finally get free. He instantly scooted over to the wall, staring blankly at nothing in particular. His hand restlessly searched for something on the bed. The Guide spotted the plushie had fallen to the floor earlier, so he picked it up and handed to Anti.

As soon as the Sentinel had it in his hands, he hugged it and closed his eyes. His entire frame still shook with silent sobs and whimpers.

Mark took his eyes off the trembling figure, at last, shifting his gaze to the wall in front of him.

“I'm… not a replacement… “ He said quietly and hid his face in his hands.

The feeling of uselessness was now stronger than ever. For once, Mark felt that he couldn’t do absolutely anything about the current situation.

It wasn’t his fault. It was all the Facility. No matter how much the Guide would try to convince Anti that he was a friend, that he wanted to help, it all sounded the same to the Sentinel.

Like Mark was saying he was there to replace Jack forever.

Yet the raven-haired man couldn’t get angry with them. He understood their reasoning. With Jack gone, Anti _needed_ a different Guide for his own good. They were out of options and simply tried to force one on him.

“I’m sorry,” Mark whispered the smallest apology in the world. There was nothing else he could do.

That dreaded day came. The raven-haired man received a notice to go to the Administrator’s office as soon as he left his bedroom. He sighed as he heard the news. Kjellberg probably couldn't wait to give him the boot.

The door to the office looked as cold as ever. Mark clutched the key to Anti’s room in his hand, feeling the metal bumps dig into his palm. He wished this temporary sting could drown out his sadness. In an hour or so he’d have to part with the item. After a shaky breath, he knocked on the door and entered upon receiving a “Come in.”

“I assume I don’t need to explain why you’re here.” Kjellberg was sitting down for once, his chin resting on top of his hands.

“No, sir,” the raven-haired man replied quietly.

It was so unbelievable. In just a week Mark’s spirit and eagerness had vanished like it was nothing. The guilt of failure hung over him, and he didn’t feel the energy he’d come there with anymore.

“You’ll hand over the key to the Sentinel’s room at reception. We’ve already confiscated any classified files you’d been given, so there is no need to worry about that.”

“I’m… sorry, sir.”

“Excuse me?” The Administrator hadn’t been really looking at the Guide before. Now he arched an eyebrow as he looked at Mark.

“I’m sorry I failed. In the end, I couldn’t help him. I couldn’t do anything.”

“There is no need to feel sorry for yourself here.” Kjellberg slowly got up. He circled the desk and the raven-haired man paid a bit more attention to the other’s clothing in the moment. The man was wearing a light pink sweater - something colourful for once - and black trousers. The design on the sweater was white and simple, elegant in a way. The Administrator was one of the very few people who could pull the semi-formal look with seemingly casual clothes off. It could just be the influence and power emanating from him, though. “I was prepared for this, actually.”

“Still, I’m sorry I didn’t meet your expecta- w-what?”

“I’ve told you, haven’t I? He’s most likely the hardest case we’ve ever had. To be completely honest, I won’t blame anyone if Anti never recovers. It’s a shame.”

There was something _off_ about those words. Mark felt uneasy listening to him talk. Something about them sounded like Kjellberg wasn’t talking about a human.

The Guide supposed he finally understood what Anti was feeling. They just wanted to use him here. It was upsetting, but nothing could be done about it. It was simply the way this world worked. Sentinels hardly ever had the freedom of choice.

“Well, thank you for your cooperation, Mr Fischbach.” Once he got close enough, Kjellberg reached out, silently proposing a handshake. Mark couldn’t really deny him that. “I hope you didn’t take my words as a threat on your first day. I wish you a successful job at another facility.”

The raven-haired man nearly forgot about that. “O-oh.”

“I may be known for being cold-hearted, but I would never give someone so hardworking a bad evaluation. Given the circumstances of your internship here, it would be pure spite to write down nothing but bad words about you.”

Mark noticed, however, how Kjellberg didn’t mention anything about giving him a fully good review, either. He sighed silently.

“Thank you, sir, for this opportunity.”

“The pleasure’s all mine.”

And just like that, it was… over.

The raven-haired man stared at the key in his hand once he left the office. It weighed so much now and he didn’t want to part with it.

Every step he took towards the elevator was slow and heavy as if that could take Kjellberg’s decision back. Mark knew, however, that it was simply a march toward the inevitable now.

He stopped in the elevator, hand hovering over the ground floor button. Something didn’t want to let him press it just yet. He picked another one on impulse and let out a shaky breath as the doors closed and the lift went down.

The Guide wasn’t sure whether his floor choice was deliberate or random, but he knew that his next steps were taken with purpose. He walked down the now familiar corridor, stopping in front of one of the narrow, metal doors. He glanced at the key once more. The number on the tag attached to it matched the number of the plate on the door. This was going to be the last time Mark would use the key, and that thought felt suffocating.

The Sentinel was sitting on his bed as usual. With his legs folded on the bed and hands resting in his lap, he was thinking about something as Mark opened the door. It was almost a mechanical reaction for him now - Anti stretched his legs out, making sure that there would be no sitting space left on the mattress. He glared at the Guide wordlessly for a moment, but once he noticed Mark wasn’t coming in, he spoke up.

“I’m not gonna move my ass if that’s what you’re thinking, so stop standing like a creep.”

The raven-haired man responded by forming a sad smile. A part of him was surely going to miss those snarky comments. He walked into the room, shutting the door gently. There was no need to lock it, he’d be leaving in a minute or so.

“Why the fuck are you quiet now? Not gonna talk about your annoying dog today?”

Anti sat up, watching Mark. He had to sense something was off, too. After all, the Guide had never come to him with a bad attitude.

“Anti.” Mark breathed, gathering his thoughts. “I came here today... Well. Huh.”

His eyes felt unusually watery. He didn’t want to cry, but now that he was standing there, in front of the Sentinel and actually supposed to say goodbye, the emotions came tumbling down. His voice cracked as he spoke his next words.

“I guess this really is farewell.”

The green-haired man flinched at the broken sound mid-sentence. He couldn’t hide how his eyebrows raised at those words, though, no matter how much he frowned.

“What the fuck are you on about?”

“My time’s up. I tried my best to befriend you but I failed. So it’s time for me to say goodbye.”

Anti clenched his hands, his nails digging into his palms. “Stop trying to make me feel sorry for you. Ain’t gonna work. Go be pathetic somewhere else,” he spat out.

Mark rubbed one of the stinging eyes. “Yeah. I’m sorry I didn’t manage to help you. I hope… I hope you find someone more suitable than me… Oh god…”

He couldn’t hide it. His eyes were wet, and so was the hand he tried so desperately to hide the tears with. His throat was tight and he could barely speak.

“Wait- Y-you… This is just a sick joke, right?”

“I wish I could joke about being fired.” Mark chuckled, wearing a pained expression. “I’m sorry it ended this way. And I’m sorry for prying into your life. At least you won’t have to worry about me anymore.”

Anti jumped off the bed when the realization hit him. He wore such a bewildered expression, one that the raven-haired man had associated with fear. But there wasn’t really much Anti could be scared of at the moment.

“Goodbye,” Mark said, and turned around. He had to leave before he turned into a bawling mess.

Yet just as he grabbed the handle, he felt a tug on his wrist. The Guide glanced back with a question on his lips, and he saw that it was the Sentinel stopping him, tightening his hold on his hand.

“No. N-no, no, no. You don’t get to just l-leave.”

“I’m flattered you’d bully me a bit longer,” Mark laughed lightly but it made a few more tears run down his face. “But I’m afraid it’s not my choice. I’ll miss you.”

“S-shut up. No. You said you had a week.”

Anti’s hair fell over his face and the raven-haired man couldn’t see much of his eyes. His expression seemed blank from his point of view, but his voice carried clear emotion.

“Yes, and it’s the seventh day, I have to go.”

“It’s not over. A week is seven days. This is the last day. It’s not over.” With every sentence, his grip tightened even more, now hurting Mark a bit. “You can’t just go now.”

“Anti…” The Guide couldn’t understand the sudden change in the other’s behaviour.

Then, finally, something broke in him. Anti raised his head in a swift motion, and Mark saw his fearful eyes ready to cry.

“You can’t leave! N-not now!”

The raven-haired man was taken aback by that outburst. “W-why not? What’s wrong…? I thought you… Didn’t like me.”

“I-If you go now… They’ll just send another one! And another! And I’m so _sick_ of it! Y-y-you’re the only one who actually cared about m-me… And how I felt...”

The Sentinel’s grip wavered and his fingers slid off Mark’s wrist.

“P...please… Stay here… Don’t leave me…”

The Guide looked at those earnest eyes. They were blue, just the usual greyish blue that lacked life. They glistened with hot tears of fear and pledge. It was just Anti speaking. Not the voices in his head, not his powers, or anger, or anything else.

Mark let go of the door handle. He turned around and slowly got closer to the Sentinel. He didn’t have to be the one initiating the hug - Anti grabbed a handful of his shirt and pressed himself against the raven-haired man’s body. Mark enveloped his frame with his own arms.

“I never hated you…” The Sentinel whispered quietly as his tears soaked the other’s clothes.

“I think a part of me always knew.” The Guide smiled.

“S-so… don’t go.”

“I won’t,” Mark said in return.

They stayed in each other’s arms for a while longer, cherishing the closeness and warmth. Mark felt Anti’s acceptance, and Anti felt Mark’s care. They knew they would now share their lives in this world together.

**Author's Note:**

> Come over to my Tumblr blog and say hi! You can find me at [**mantianti**](http://mantianti.tumblr.com/)
> 
> For anyone interested in the title of this fic, it’s taken from the song [_“You” by a Great Big World_](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FArhxzbTO-A). It’s something Drako and I both feel really encapsulates the story, and you will see more of those feeling come in to play in possible later parts :) - Hunter/BubblegumCoffee


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